All she wanted was a happy family and the man she fell in love with. She needed him to step up and help her help him. The fight within him was bigger and badder than either of them could battle alone. She told him, get help or it had to be over and he agreed.
Within 24 hours he had scheduled an appointment to start the good fight. Fighting the internal battle that was not only controlling his days and nights, but was also pushing away his family, the one who loved him the most.
The appointment date gave her hope, but she knew he had to open and honest with the doctors, admit his struggles and be willing to receive treatment. She prayed he would.
He went to his first appointment and when he got home, he seemed on edge. After dealing with this mood for many years, she left him to his thoughts and went about the normal evening routine.
Mixed with emotions she moved about in a cloud of pride mixed with the a dash of hope, watered down with defeat. He went and saw someone just like she asked but he seemed the same. She laid down in bed at the end of this day and just asked god to take control and help them, because she was out of hope.
As the days turned into weeks, she slowly began to notice changes. They started small, but to her, they were life changing. Small changes began to grow, and soon the good days began to outnumber the bad. Her miracle has begun.
He was still going to his appointments, and he was more than four weeks into his medications when she felt a calm surrounding them. She saw this man, the one she fell in love with, the one who had succumbed to his rage and anger. Her man was back.
After the kids were in bed for the night, they were cuddling on the couch watching whatever mind numbing show that happened to be on, she had to ask. She had to know about the doctor, the medicine, how he was feeling, she needed to know everything. Just asking could set him off, but he was her world and she wanted to be part of the healing. She wanted to help if she could.
He didn’t provide a lot of information but managed to share just enough to settle her mind. The doctor was talking to him about an incident that happened before she even knew him, something she had no idea about. He didn’t elaborate except to say he thought it was helping to talk to the doctor, and they also put him on some medications that he was beginning to see work. His answers were calm and he didn’t seem the least bit aggravated that she had asked. Then, from nowhere he said something that she had never seen coming. He said “I’m sorry that I have been difficult to live with, and thank you for giving me the push to talk to someone.” She knew at that moment, while their road ahead may not be easy, they would be ok.